


Reunion Falls Episode One: Tourist Trapped

by gaymabelpines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gravity Falls AU, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 04:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6689065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymabelpines/pseuds/gaymabelpines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mabel Pines happily grew up in Piedmont, California with her parents, until one day, she made a startling discovery: she had a twin who lived in Oregon with her great-uncle. Cue secret mission from her parents to spend the summer in Gravity Falls and connect with her long-lost twin!! :D<br/>Original AU by: http://sailorleo.tumblr.com/tagged/reunion+falls<br/>Warning- I made Dip trans in my version of the au so there is some misgendering in the first two chapters- but that's quickly fixed. Also, Dip has a potty mouth, which is why I put this under "teen and up audiences", but that's abt as bad as it gets, unless you count violence against gnomes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue (Mabel's POV)

"C'mon... c'mon..." Mabel muttered to herself while rummaging through a box of her grandmother's old clothes.

"There's gotta be something that I can use for the school play," she said desperately while holding up a really gross grey dress. Tossing that aside, she thought about how she even got into this situation. She'd recently just joined her middle school theater club, and was really hoping to impress everyone with her awesome acting and costuming skills . For their newest skit- a "Princess and the Frog" pantomime- they needed a ballgown, and Mabel immediately volunteered to get the ballgown. Unfortunately, you can't knit a ballgown, and she didn't have the money to go buy fabric to sew- or, in her case, since she's horrible at sewing in general, hot-glue one together- she got her parent's permission to rifle through the box of her grandmother's clothes that were stashed in the attic, and then use whatever she wanted to make into a fancy ballgown. So far, she was finding absolutely zilch. Nada. Nuthin' that she could use for an amazingly frilly and glittery princess dress.

Setting down the horrid grey dress, she heaved a heavy sigh and looked around. There were so many boxes of lord-knows-what around, and her parents wouldn't possibly be able to know if she got something from her grandmother's box or her aunt's. But she should probably choose something from a box that was buried waaayy back, so that her parent's wouldn't notice.

Getting up, she made her way into the corner of the attic that she was kinda-semi banned from. Her parents never specifically said she couldn't rummage through the boxes, but they always suggested that she go to a different spot in the attic whenever she went up there. Mabel figured that if they did notice anything missing from there, then they probably would just chalk it up to it being misplaced because of course little-good-girl Mabel wouldn't do what she wasn't supposed to and take something from the banned boxes.

Opening up the closest box to her, she was quickly disappointed to find that there weren't any clothes in there- only her birth certificate and a couple of baby pictures. Being kinda bored at this point, she decided to look through the photos and marvel at what a cute baby she was (her cheeks were so fat and squishable!!).

But instead of one baby with fat squishable cheeks in the photo she picked up, there were two. Two baby girls, practically identical, except for the fact that one of the babies had this weird-constellationy birthmark on her forehead. The heck was this?? Why were there two??? Flipping over the back of the picture, she saw that there was a note.

"Aug. 31, 1999. Twin girls Mabel and Dana"

Dana. She had a twin sister named Dana. But why had she never met her twin? Why hadn't her parents told her about all of this? Was her sister okay?

Mabel just had to know more- but she couldn't go to her parents about all of this. If she told them that she knew, they'd probably just try to cover it up and say that Dana had died or something stupid that was probably a big fat lie. But what if her sister was dead? Shaking her head, Mabel dived deeper into the box- she needed to find out more about this twin sister and whatever was going on with her before she jumped to any unnecessary conclusions. Maybe this was all a prank- a really, really well-thought out prank that her parents have waited years to finally get to the punch-line.

But as Mabel delved deeper into the box, the less the whole prank theory held water. There was a copy of Dana's birth certificate, as well as a few adoption papers to a guy named Stanford Filldrick Pines, who turned out to be her great-uncle. He lived in some small Oregon town called Gravity Falls, and that as far as her parents knew, both her twin and great-uncle were alive and living in a tourist trap called the "Mystery Shack".

Mabel's stomach was churning, and it wasn't from her extra-sugary breakfast cereal she had this morning. What was she feeling, exactly? Excitement at the fact of a twin sister, anger because her parents were just flat out lying to her her entire life? And what was Mabel to do now? Should she tell her parents that she knew? Should she just run off and meet her twin? Or should she just forget about this whole thing and live her life?

No- the last one was out of the question. That's her twin sister- twin sisters are family, and Mabel never ever ever turns her back on family. Though her family wasn't always the greatest- as witnessed here by her parents keeping Mabel and her twin apart for their whole lives. So there was no way that Mabel was going to let on that she knew about her sister- her parents would probably go to great lengths to make sure that the twins never meet. Which leaves only one option for Mabel- pre-teenage rebellion in the form of connecting with your sibling.

Flashforward to about three months later of saving up allowance and scringing for loose change, online research on Oregon and long-lost twins via incognito window, and a well-placed lie later, Mabel was on a Speedy Beaver bus, headed straight towards Gravity Falls and her long-lost twin. Sitting on the squishy turquoise seat, she excitedly swung her legs back and forth and looked out the window, watching as the familiar palm trees of Piedmont, California slowly turned into the piney woods of Oregon. She knew that once her parents figured out the truth, she'd be in huge trouble.

But hey, it's not like a summer in Gravity Falls with her twin would lead to like, the end of the world or the actual apocalypse.


	2. Reunion ft. Gnomes (Dipper's POV)

Oh no, Dipper thought, not again.

It was those stupid misogynistic gnomes that were always trying to kidnap girls, and it looked like they found another one to pull the same old "I'm a cool kinda gothy mysterious teenager dude who is definitely not leading you away from civilization to kidnap you whatever do you mean" trick. They were pulling along this kinda-chubby girl in a ridiculous pink sweater (it was the middle of summer-it's hot as balls outside!) while she was sitting on her suitcase, fiddling with her long brown hair and blushing. Dipper was glad that he was doing his daily rounds through the woods that day- he liked pissing off those pointy-hatted little bastards whenever they pulled this kind of shit. He reached for the grappling hook that he kept by his side, and aimed it straight at the fake teen's head. 

WHACK

The noise of metal hitting gnome skull rang clear throughout the forest, and the stack of gnomes fell to the ground in a confused muddle. The girl leaned over, looking very confused and a little shocked at the fact that her would-be boyfriend was actually just a bunch of fucking garden decorations. 

"Hey!" Dipper yelled, getting both the gnomes' and the girl's attentions, "I thought I convinced you creeps to stay in the forest where you belong."

"This isn't the last you've seen of us, human boy!" yelled one- Jeff, Dipper thought his name was, "We have power beyond your comprehension and don't think we'll be afraid to-"

Dipper never heard what the gnomes wouldn't be afraid to do because at that moment he threw a rock at the little fuckwad's head that made a good hard thunk when it hit it's mark. At this, the gnomes started bolting with their metaphorical tails between their legs back into the woods.

As they were running, Dipper shouted at them "Yeah, go tell your army or whatever that Dipper Pines kicked your ass! And that's Dipper with two 'p's and one 'r'!"

Turning his attention to the girl, he held out his hand to help her down from her perch on the suitcase where she had been sitting in silent confusion. Poor thing, Dipper thought, she must have no idea about all of the weird ass shit that this town has.

"Sorry about all that," he said she grabbed his hand and jumped off of her suitcase, "Don't take it personally, though, you're like the fifth girl they've tried this on." He looked at her, tilting his head. She looked a little familiar, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. 

"I'm guessing that you're not from around here. Were you looking for something?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah.... I was looking for.......," she started off slowly, and then all of a sudden got excited. "Wait, did you say your last name was Pines?"

"Um, Dipper Pines, yeah, wh-" he started to ask, before she all of a sudden embraced him in a big, sweatery hug with an excited exclamation of "BRO!!"

"Whoa! Hey!" Dipper exclaimed as he pushed the girl off him? What the shit? "Bro"?? He doesn't have any siblings! 

"What was that?? Who.... are you??" he asked, everything in him on guard. Who is this girl that's crazy enough to not only wear a sweater in the middle of summer, but to also hug him?? 

"Oh, yeah... sorry 'bout that," she said, a little abashed at her impromptu hug, but quickly got excited again. "But listen! My name is Mabel. I'm your sister!!" 

She ended the last part with a huge, brace-filled smile, while the only thing that Dipper was doing at that moment was staring at her, sweating while thinking the fuck???

"NOPE." He immediately said, turning around and walking away. "Nope nope nope nope nope." He continued on his way, hurrying to the Mystery Shack. 

"YES!" said Mabel, and he heard her running behind him, dragging her suitcase along. "Yes yes yes yes yes!"

"No," repeated Dipper, "You can't be my sister. I'm an only child- always have. You're probably like some sort of shapeshifter or body-snatcher. Just- whatever you are, I'm having none of it."

"I am too your sister!" she protested as she caught up with him. They now walking briskly side-by-side together. "We were born on August 31st, 1999, and according to your birth certificate- which I have a copy of, by the way- you were 6 pounds 18 oz., had crazy cute chubby cheeks as a baby, and your birth name is Dana."

At this, he stopped, and spun towards her. 

"Don't you ever call me that again," he growled, staring her down.

"I'm- I'm sorry. You're transgender, right?" she said, and Dipper backed down. He nodded confirmation, blushing with embarrassment. "I'm sorry for calling you that- I just needed for you to believe me. I promise it won't happen again. Besides, Dipper's a lot cooler of a name than Dana."

"Thanks," said Dipper, blushing even more. "Hey, sorry about getting all angry at you, but I'm still not sure if you're really my twin sister or if you're some creepy stalker, but let's just go ask my Grunkle Stan if you are or not."

"Sounds like a deal-io, oh brother of mine," Mabel chirped, and the two twins continued on their way to the Mystery Shack.


	3. Guess Who! (Soos' POV)

Oddly enough, it was a kinda slow day at the Mystery Shack, even though it was, like, the first week of summer vacation. Soos was fixing a short in the light bulb socket in Dipper's attic bedroom, when instead the handyman should've been gluing together taxidermy parts for new attractions that would get tourists to spent their money. Well, whatever- Soos still liked being at the Shack, helping out the two Pines guys with their stuff that needed fixin'. He finished screwing in the new light bulb into the now-fixed up socket, Soos decided to go downstairs to take his lunch break. He was just taking his tuna sandwich out of his brown paper lunchbag when Dipper came running through the door of the shop, all panicky and red in the face.

"SOOS!" the little dude yelled, "I've got a problem!!"

"Go for it, dude," said Soos, starting to put his sandwich away.

"Well-" Dipper started, about to go on one of his very long tangents with big words that Soos only pretended to know, when the Shack door burst open again, and another little dudette in a big pink sweater came in.

"Hey!" she said, as Soos and Dipper turned to look upon the newcomer, "Did somebody order a long lost twin sister?? 'Cause guess what I am!!"

Wait, twins?? Soos looked between the girl and Dipper, noting how similar they looked, and got all excited. There's two little Pines guys!! 

"Aw, man, this is awesome!!" he said, looking at Dipper's twin with literal stars in his eyes, "What's your name, dude?"

"I'm Mable Carla Pines!" she declared proudly, "And I've come to spend a whole summer connectin' with my long-lost bro, Dippin' Dots here!"

"Haha, Dippin' Dots," repeated Soos, and the two new found friends giggled at the joke.

"Don't encourage her!!" interjected Dipper.

"Sorry, dude, but it was a pretty good joke."

"Soos, dude, listen to me. There is little to no evidence that she is my twin sister-"

"Besides the baby picture and copy of your birth certificate," interrupted Mable, pulling out both, and showing Soos the picture. 

"I'm not accepting anything short of a DNA test!" proclaimed Dipper.

"Well, dude, that might be a little hard to procure," said Soos, "But I can get Mr. Pines and he could probably confirm or deny your biological relation."

"Thank you," said Dipper, clearly relieved, "because as much as we look alike, it's hard to believe that a serious guy like me is related to the literal human manifestation of glitter and rainbows."

"Awww," went Mable, getting a little teary-eyed, "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me!"

"Please hurry!" Dipper yelled after him as he left the room. Soos went into the back- which was really just where Mr. Pines and Dipper lived- and found him getting a soda from the fridge.

"Hey, Mr. Pines," Soos started a little nervously. A long-lost twin was kinda big deal, and probably could signify loads of emotional issues to come.

"Whaddya want, kid?" he replied a little gruffly, and started to take a drink of his soda.

"Well, there's a girl here, and she says that she's Dipper's twin sister Mable." Soos said, and then Stan took a classicly over-used spit-take.

"Oh, shit" he muttered to himself after he spit all of the Pitt cola out, and turned to Soos. "Where, uh, where is she now?"

"She's with the little dude in the shop," Soos said, and the old man started walking in that direction, with Soos right on his heels. When they got there, Stan just stopped and stared at the two twins, who were having a very lively discussion until Dipper had noticed that his grunkle had now entered the scene.

"Grunkle Stan," he said excitedly, and hurried over to him, with Mable following behind, "Please please please tell me that this crazy girl here isn't my twin sister."

Mr. Pines was really quiet, and walked over to the door, changing the sign from "OPEN" to "CLOSED", preventing anyone who obeyed laws from coming into the empty tourist trap. He sighed for a moment, and muttered something under his breath.

"What- what was that?" Dipper asked, borderline accusing.

"She is your sister." repeated Stan, louder this time, so that everyone in the room could hear. At this, there was silence, as everyone was processing this new information. Except for Mable, of course, who already knew this, and was currently wearing a huge smile on her face, looking at her twin, excitedly waiting to see what his reaction would be. 

"What thE ACTUAL FUCK??" screamed Dipper, and Mable's face just dropped faster than an anvil in a cartoon. But Dipper didn't notice and continued to yell at his great uncle. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME, HUH?? SO YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME MY ENTIRE LIFE ABOUT THIS??"

"Dipper, listen to me," Mr. Pines started, trying to calm down the furious twelve-year-old, "your parents- they had to give you up-"

"WHAT WAS SO FUCKED UP WITH ME THAT MADE MY PARENTS GIVE ME UP BUT KEEP HER??"

"Listen, kiddo, there's nothing wrong with you, they just- well, they never really explained why they gave you up-"

"OH, AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL A WHOLE LOT FUCKING BETTER, IS IT?"

"Watch your shit mouth, kid, and just shut up for a minute and listen to what I have to say, alright?"

"YOU JUST CURSED BACK AT ME YOU SHITTY-ASS HYPOCRITE"

Somewhere between all of the dramatic yelling goin on with the Pines guys, Mable had slipped away. Noticing this, Soos gingerly made his way around the two people hysterically yelling at each other and made it outside, where she was sitting, legs curled up to her chest and tears in the corners of her eyes. Ignoring the now-kinda-muffled curse words that where coming from inside the Shack, Soos sat himself down next to Mable.

"'Sup, hambone?" he asked, concerned for her feelings. She looked up at him, and started wiping some of the tears that were threatening to flood her whole face.

"Oh, hey.... Soos, right?"

"You got it, lil' dude! So what's eating you- besides the mosquitoes any way."

"Well, uh.." she got quiet for a moment, and then opened up a bit, "Soos, have you ever tried to do something that you thought would make everyone really happy, but then it all blows up in your face and now everybody you hoped to make happy is just really, really upset with you?"

"Story of my life, dude," said Soos, "but not on this scale though- more like a minor everyday occurrence." Mable got quiet again for a moment, listening to the yelling coming from the Mystery Shack that still hadn't stopped, and probably wouldn't anytime soon.

"They probably hate me, don't they?" she asked really quietly.

"Are you kidding me, dawg?" he asked incredulously, "You're like, a combination of a smiling puppy and an anime fairy princess, and also probably one of the least hateable people I've ever met."

"Thanks Soos, but..." she said, sniffling a bit, "Maybe I should just go home? If I leave, they could just forget that this thing ever happened, and things could go back to being normal."

"Dude, nothing's normal around here," Soos said, "This is like, a huge bombshell of emotional issues, but Mr. Pines and Dippin'-dots will get through this- they love each other. They'll work it out." Soos and Mabel went silent again, listening to the yelling that was still coming from inside the Shack. Man, were those two going at it. They'll probably have massive sore throats after this, and be having to suck on cough drops for the rest of the week. Soos took another look at Mabel, who seemed to get a bit sadder every time one of the Pines guys yelled profanities at the other.

"...Hey, my brain just came up with a totally neato idea!," Soos started, hoping that this would cheer the little dudette up, "Why don't we pitch a tent and have a sleepover out here under the stars? We could swap stories, eat raw marshmallows, and if you still want to go home tomorrow morning you can."

"Well....," said Mabel, starting to smile a little bit now, "only if you'll try to throw the marshmallows into my mouth with your eyes closed."

"Deal!" Soos replied, smiling back at her.


	4. Hey Look a Nerd Diary (Mabel's POV)

Mabel woke up with a bit of a start in the middle of the night- well, more like 9 or 10, but it was really dark, so it looked like the middle of the night- wondering where in the heckle she was. She was in a sleeping bag in a tent, and there was Soos sleeping in one on the other side of the tent, snoring. Oh yeah, she suddenly remembered, Dipper. Grunkle Stan. That huge fight thing. Me ruining everything.

Pushing aside any guilt that she was feeling about possibly ruining her twin brother's life, she also had a strong desire to pee. Climbing out of the tent, she looked towards the Mystery Shack, where all of the lights were off. Deciding to not wake up her brother and Grunkle- if anything, waking them up in the middle of the night would make them hate her more- she decided to try to go pee in the woods. And hey, even if she didn't get to connect with her twin this summer, at least she could say that she peed in the woods, and probably half the kids in her class haven't even gone camping! A tad excited at the idea of having an experience that not everyone has had, she carefully went into the woods to find a tree. She'd figure out the actual peeing part late-

CLANG

"Ow ow ow ow ow"she groaned quietly to herself, rubbing her head where she hit it against the tree. Wait, did trees go clang? Even she knew that wasn't normal. Forgetting her need to urinate, she gingerly put her hand onto it's bark, surprised that it was kinda cold. Like how metal is when you leave it outside when it's chilly out. Rubbing her hand along it, she felt an oddly rectangular crack that was probably some sort of secret compartment or something. Pulling it open, she found this weird nerd contraption thingamajig, and fiddled with one of the weird levers that was on it. Hearing a slight whoosh behind her, Mabel turned and saw that a bit of the ground had opened up. Man, Soos was right, this town is weird. 

Going to this new secret compartment, there was some sort of rectangular object. Brushing off the icky spiders, she picked it up, and blew off the dust. Coughing as it got into her face, she took a look at what she now knew to be a very, very old book. There was a gold six-fingered hand on the cover with the number "3" in black on its palm, and was covered in rips and scratches. Figuring that there wasn't any harm in looking inside, she opened it up, and squinted to see what it said in the moonlight. The first page said this, in neat, cursive handwriting:

"It's hard to believe that it's been six years since I began researching the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon. In all my travels, never have I observed so many curious things! Gravity Falls is indeed a geographical oddity."

Flipping through some more pages that featured things such as the gnomes that she encountered earlier, floating eyeballs, and giant vampire bats, she eventually came to a page that said "TRUST NO ONE" in big, red letters that you could read from a mile away. Continuing beneath it, the text read "Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."

"'No one you can trust'..." Mabel repeated quietly to herself, "Pffft, yeah, right, like I'm gonna fall for this paranoid weirdo's tricks."

"Hey," came a voice from behind her

"AAAHHHHH" she screamed, because she did fall for the paranoid weirdo's tricks. Picking up the nerd diary, she turned and started hitting the stranger over the head, screaming, "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE"

"Wait no mABLE- HOLY SHIT THAT HURT- MABEL IT'S ME- IT'S DIPPER"

Stopping for a second, she looked at him and realized that yes, it was her twin brother, with his arms thrown above his head in order to shield himself from his sister's wrath. Sighing in relief, she put the book down.

"Dipper! Dude, you had me for a minute there- for a sec I thought you were those gnome dudes trying to kidnap me again," she said, and helped him up, "You okay? That book must've hurt."

"Yeah, well," Dipper said, "It did. But if it hurt me, it'll definitely hurt those little bastards if they come after you again." They both laughed at this, then fell into an awkward silence.

"So... uh....." Mabel began, breaking the tension a bit, "What're you doin here in the woods?"

"Oh, uh.. I was just um, well," he said, stumbling over his words, "I came out here because I was looking for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you didn't come in, and you weren't in the tent, so Grunkle Stan- and, well, me too, I guess- were worried that maybe those gnomes did get to you."

"Dawwww," Mabel said, getting all excited, "You do care about me!" And with that, she embraced her twin in another surprise hug.

"Erm.." He was kinda confused by Mabel's affectionate nature, and tried to reciprocate it by patting her on the back twice, saying the word "pat" each time. Mable then did the same, and she let go. 

"C'mon, we should start heading back." said Dipper, and he led the way to the Mystery Shack. "Hey, uh, Mabel?"

"Yeah, bro bro?"

"What's that book you got there?"

Oh, yeah, the nerd diary. Mabel had almost forgotten about it in the midst of their awkward sibling hug. She hesitated telling him about it- it did say to "trust no one" in big, red, angry letters. But that was ridiculous- if she couldn't trust her own twin brother (which she had technically only known for, like, a few hours) then who could she trust? Besides, she figured Dipper would love this weird journal thing- there were secret codes and weird critters- it was right up his alley! The "trust no one" thing did kinda wig her out a bit though.

"Oh, uh- I'll show you in the morning."


	5. Look Who's Back to Semi-Ruin Everything (Dipper's POV)

No. Fucking. Way.

They'd gotten back to the Shack and settled themselves in the living room, Dipper sitting on the old, yellow chair with stains of questionable origin, and Mabel perching herself on it's arm, peering over Dipper's shoulder at the journal. This thing was so cool, from the mysterious six-fingered hand on the cover, to the dog-eared and yellowed pages which showed how much it had been used. The research within was well-written and very detailed, meaning that the mysterious author knew what they were doing and what they were writing about, unlike some other books featuring supernatural creatures that he'd gotten off of the internet.

Wow, he thought. Whoever had owned this book must've loved it a lot. He flipped through a few more of the pages, checking the dates. The Author had written in it on an almost daily basis, from research to field experiments to their paranoia at being watched by..... something.

Then why'd they leave it in the woods, hidden away? he wondered. Who was after you?

"So, what do you think? It's pretty cray-cray, if you ask me."

Dipper looked up at the girl- no, his twin sister- who had been looking expectantly at him since she showed him the book. Mabel had said that she found it by a secret lever hidden in a secret compartment in a secret metal tree.

She was pretty big on the whole "secret" thing. She seemed to get excited about a lot of things, most of all him. Deciding not to play it off and act all "cool" like he usually did about kids his age to try to show that he was smarter than them, he figured an honest answer wouldn't hurt.

"It's really fucking cool, Mabel" he said. "I mean, the Author completely nailed on the migration patterns of the butterfly-bears...." and off he went on a tangent about the various supernatural creatures of Gravity Falls and their habits that he's been able to figure out over the years that he's lived there.

"....honestly there's only a few things missing- such as the gnomes enjoy stealing pies-but seeing how this journal was last updated in, what, like," flipping through the pages, he finally came to the last one where the writing stopped, "1982, it's understandable if there's a few things missing. And plus, the pages just, stop after a certain point! Like they never got to finish writing it!"

"Whoa! Why?" said Mabel, who had been patiently listening throughout Dipper's whole speech, with a smile on her face and a warm, happy look in her brown eyes. 

"I..." he began, about to go on another ramble. Another ramble- that thought hit him. Not many people had listened to him ramble on this long and actually cared about what he was saying. Grunkle Stan- while he does try his best- often tells him that he shouldn't keep messing with all of that "supernatural bullshit", Wendy kinds of laughs at him for it, Soos zones out whenever he starts talking, and the few friends he tried to make at school usually made fun of him for it. It was kind of weird that Mabel, who just showed up from nowhere less than 24 hours ago, had already made more of an effort to support him than most. It was a nice feeling, but one he didn't want to go away. Play it cool, man, he said to himself, don't wanna ruin this.

"I... uh, I don't know," he said, with a kind of half shrug. "I don't think I wanna let Grunkle Stan know about this just yet though...."

"Yeah, he'd probably turn it into another one of his cool attractions here at the Shack," said Mabel.

"Yeah....." It wasn't just that, though. Stan had kept Mabel a secret from Dipper for all of this time, so now Dipper wanted to keep his own secret from Stan, one that won't come out in a huge-

-C R A S H

The whole ground shook, jostling Mabel from her perch on the side of the chair in the Shack's living room.

"What was that?? Is this normal for Gravity Falls?" asked Mabel.

"Uhhhh..... I don't think so...."

"NO WHERE TO HIDE, SWEETHEART," came a very shrill voice from outside, "COME OUT AND MARRY ALL FEW DOZEN OF US IF YOU DON'T WANT ANYONE TO GET HURT. ALSO, DIPPER PINES WITH TWO 'P'S, JUST BECAUSE WE'RE UNDER 4 FEET DOESN'T MEAN WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE GOOGLE."

"Oh, shit," muttered Dipper. It was those over-glorified lawn decorations again. He and Mabel ran to the window, looked out, and Dipper let out a long, low "fuuuuucccckkkkk........"

It was a giant fucking gnome, silhouetted by the rising sun, and it was made up entirely out of other gnomes. You've got to be shitting me, he thought, they build an entire giant-ass gnome out of themselves over my sister? How desperate are they for a new queen?

"So, bro-bro," Mabel started, albeit nervously, "That mysterious nerd diary has directions for beating up a giant gnome, right?"

"Uhhhh......." Dipper frantically flipped through the pages, searching for anything that could be of use. When he finally got to the page detailing about the gnomes, there was nothing but a series of question marks after the word "weaknesses".

"Seriously?"

"CHOP CHOP, SUGAR PLUM. I CAN HEAR THE WEDDING BELLS CHIMING!!" god, that gnome was annoying.

"'Sugar plum'?? Hoo boy, that is it!!" Mabel yelled, and then ran outside, fists ready.

"Wait- Mabel!!" Dipper ran outside after her, but the gnomes had her cornered at the side of the house. He looked frantically around for a weapon- didn't Grunkle Stan once say that he owned ten guns? Unfortunately, Dipper didn't see any guns, only an old leaf blower, a pile of leaves that had stuck around since last fall, and a rake. He picked up the rake- it had pointy ends, right? That could scratch a few of the little bastards at least. Mabel had been eyeing around herself frantically for a weapon too, but then something weird happened. She drew herself up, looked straight at the gnomes, and said-

"I gotta do it."

"Wait, really?" said the uppermost gnome, who seemed to be in charge of all the other gnomes. "Coming right now m'lady- lemme down, out of the way Alex-" and a little more of that until he'd made his way down and stood in front of Mabel.

"What? Mabel, no- are you crazy?? These guys are absolute creeps!" whispered Dipper, pulling her aside.

"Dipper- trust me. I know that we haven't known each other long-"

"Less than 24 hours!"

"-and I'm sorry that I just popped into your life out of the blue and ruining everything! But please, you just gotta trust me on this!"

He looked back at the gnomes, and back at his sister. Sighing, he dropped the rake at his side and nodded. He'll trust her, he decided, but if this goes South, he's already ready to chase after the gnomes to get her back, because god damn it if he was going to let any creep-ass thing from the woods of Gravity Falls hurt his family, even surprise family that almost gave him a heart attack.

The gnome dropped to one knee and held out a ring with a large diamond on it, and Mabel held out her hand delicately as he placed it on her finger.

"We are now gnome and wife!" the little shit proclaimed happily. "Now let's hurry on up back to the forest-"

"You may now kiss the bride," interrupted Mabel, with an oddly-huge grin on her face. Chuckling, and somehow having an even bigger grin than her, the gnome leaned in for a kiss just as he was all of a sudden sucked up by a mysterious black tube.

What the fuck, was the only thing going through Dipper's mind at this point. It was that old as balls leaf blower, and Mabel had the gnome sucked right into it!

"That's for breaking my heart," she said, turning up the power, pulling the gnome deeper into the leaf blower, "And this," she said, aiming at the very heart of the giant gnome looming over them, "is for threatening my brother!!"

And with that, she pulled the "reverse" switch on the leaf blower, shooting the gnome into the bigger gnome.


	6. Chapter 6

She aimed the gnome canon- well, it was really a leaf blower with a gnome stuck in it, but gnome canon sounded so much cooler- straight at the chest area of the gnome fusion looming in front of her, and pulled the "reverse" lever on the leaf blower as far back as it could go, skyrocketing the little jerkface straight at it. As soon as gnome made contact with a lot more gnomes, the monster-gnome guy broke apart, scattering them, and even causing a few to rain from the sky.

"Get the fuck off me!!" Dipper yelled, and she turned and saw him struggling with a gnome that landed square on his head. The sight was so bizarre, or maybe it was because of the very emotionally-heavy events, or maybe it was the aftershock of having your life threatened by misogynistic garden decorations, but Mabel just started laughing- and she couldn't stop laughing. She kept laughing and laughing as the gnomes freaked out about losing their leader, and as they scampered off into the forest. She kept laughing so hard that tears came to her eyes and she fell to the ground. Then she started crying. She was crying-laughing because her emotions were more tangled than a ball of yarn that she didn't take care of and she didn't know what to feel: happy that she had a brother, or sad because he didn't really want anything to do with her? Happy that they had found a common interest with the weirdo nerd diary, or sad because he seemed more excited about the book than he did about her? Happy or sad, happy or sad, happy or sad........

"Uhh.... Mabel?" came a nervous voice to her side. She didn't even notice that Dipper was still there after getting lost in her own thoughts. He was leaning over her, nervous at her sudden laughing fit that had turned into crying. Great, she thought, he barely knows me and now he thinks that I'm completely stupid and that I've lost my marbles- just like all of the other kids at school who always tease me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, "I know what just happened was kinda freaky, but I swear that I didn't know that they could do that, uh...." Mabel's crying had quieted down now and it had turned into little baby hiccups, which she usually enjoyed and found adorable but now was not the time. She thought for a second on how she should respond- it really did sound like he wanted to know if she was okay. Figuring that if he was asking, and also his seemingly natural skepticism, she decided on an honest answer.

"Yeah- hic- and uh, no- hic- actually," she started nervously, unsure if he wanted her to continue, but after he dropped down to sit beside her, concern written on his dorky face, she continued. 

"I'm just- hic- just a little overwhelmed a bit- hic- you know? I mean, I just found out that- hic- I just found out that I have a twin brother, and well- hic- actually, that's wrong. Hic. You're the one who just found out about having a twin- hic. I've kinda known for months after I was messing- hic- messing around in the attic one day and- hic- and I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, you were probably just better- hic- just better off without me and-" she felt tears pressing at the corners of her eyes again, threatening to spill over, and decided to stop talking. She'd already made herself look silly in front of him, who had already seemed to enjoy being super-duper serious all of the time, and didn't want for him to lose what little respect for her that he already had.

"Yeah, I get that," he said, and Mabel looked up at him in surprise. "I'm kinda freaked out about all of the whole 'surprise twin' business too, honestly. And mad, cause no one ever told me. But also happy."

"Wait-what?"

"Aw, no, are we gonna have to have a sappy conversation about this?" he groaned, but in a kinda laughy, good-natured way. "Okay- I'm gonna make this short, and we never talk about emotional bullshit again- agreed?"

"No- hic- no promises."

"Good enough for me. Alright- I've never really had any friends before- well, friends my age. Sure, I've got Soos- who I think might still be sleeping in the tent, damn, how did he not notice the giant fucking gnome? That guy can sleep through the apocalypse, I mean-"

Mabel cleared her throat, bringing Dipper back to the current conversation. There was no way she was letting him out of this one.

"Right, shitty emotional stuff. Got it. Sure, I've had Soos, and there's Wendy too- she's uh, the girl that's about two years older than me-us- that works at the register of the Shack sometimes," he explained quickly, a little bit of blush rising to his cheeks. (She made note of that for teasing or match-making purposes- she hadn't decided yet.) "But I've never really had a friend-friend before, ya know? So yeah, I am nervous and upset and a little bit scared that you just popped out of nowhere, but I am kind of excited too, I guess? Listen, I know that we haven't known each other our whole lives like we should've or something, but I would like to get to know you. So.... friends I guess, until we got the whole sibling thing worked out?"

Mabel couldn't believe her ears, and quickly tackled him into a big bear hug. But then she remembered his reaction to her hugging him at their first meeting, and quickly pulled back.

"Sorry- sorry! I forgot that you weren't a, uh, hug person," she quickly apologized, "But, yeah- being friends works."

"Thanks. And, uh, I wouldn't mind a hug." He said with a half shrug, then held out his arms in welcoming gesture.

Mabel couldn't tackle him back into a hug fast enough, both twins giggling as they fell down by the force of Mabel's sibling love. Sure, their situation might be weird and awkward and kinda sad, but Mabel was sure that given time, they would be a-okay.


End file.
